Of Learning to Hear Again

Lately, I've been feeling rather dissonant. 

I wasn't sure why.

 I realized I miss communicating with my Heavenly Father the way I did on my mission.

On my mission He was constant, He was clear, He was evident, He was always there. 

And now sometimes it just feels....

I'd write my mom on my mission and ask if we could just sit down on the couch and talk and drink hot chocolate, because it was impossible to express everything I was thinking and feeling and wanted to tell her in a short email. 

And that's how I feel with my Heavenly Father. 

I've had a glimpse of what it is like to be continually in communication with Him and now it feels empty and as though the communication I do have with Him now is insufficient to express what I truly want to say. 

I was thinking about all this as I was running this morning and received the overwhelming feeling from my Heavenly Father,

"I'm still here." 

Simple. Clear. Exactly what I needed.

It doesn't mean the struggle is over - I will spend the entirety of my life seeking to hear and follow His voice - but for now, that answer was enough. 

"If you are doing the right thing and if you are living the right way, 

you will know in your heart what the spirit is saying to you." 

Gordon B. Hinckley